Confessions of a Memory Hoarder
Why do I save all of this crap?
I am a memory hoarder.
If you've ever given me a memento—from photos to cards to sticky notes—I've probably tucked it into an overstuffed box in my closet, where it lives among other pieces of personal ephemera I can't bear to part with.
When I asked BFD where he stores relational memorabilia, his response was:
"I don’t. When a relationship ends, I get rid of everything—the cards, the photographs, even the digital pictures. I just clear 'em out. I don't need them anymore."
His answer unnerved me.
“But what about stuff from friends? Cards, notes, invitations, stuff like that?”
“Hm, yeah. I guess I don’t really keep any of that either.”
I'd spent the better part of the afternoon cleaning out my studio, finally admitting that my bursting box of memories made me anxious. Most of its contents were reminders of relationships that had either gone bad or just drifted away over the years.
But still, the thought of dumping it all in the trash just seemed so—-brash?
My first instinct was to create a junk journal out of everything—as a way to process my feelings and give purpose to every last scrap.
So, I spent a few hours doing this, and while it did give me a slight sense of relief, I soon grew frustrated. There was so much in the box, and spending hours upon hours poring over these pieces of my life began to feel like a big waste of time.
My next thought was to hold some sort of ceremony that (maybe) involved taking psychedelics, burning everything, and letting myself cry and get all the feels out.
When I told BFD about this idea, his response was:
"Why even give your time and energy to memories and people who aren’t relevant anymore? Why not reinvest your energy somewhere worthwhile and now and dump the past where it belongs?"
“Well.. that's a good point.”
"Also…It's also illegal to burn your trash in Portland."
Shit.
When I returned to my studio, I realized that these hoarded photos, notes, and cards had no value other than what I gave them. So, I separated them into trash and recycling, *and just like that* I dumped them in the bins.
Okay, I mostly dumped them in the bins.
I couldn’t bring myself to part with a few items (or rather, categories of items).
It’s on the personal side, but I’m going to show you what I kept. Then I have a question/challenge for you…