I'm in New York Fucking City

And it's stirring up a lot of feelings.

Dear friend,

Yesterday, I spent the day in New York City, and I can’t express how good it feels to be able to dip into the city’s chaos for a few hours and then retreat back to my quiet little home in the woods. It really is the best of both worlds. It was my first time going in since moving to the Hudson Valley, and—wow—it brought up a lot of feelings!

Especially because when I left New York, I was convinced it was more than I could handle. And honestly, it was. I was struggling with endometriosis, undiagnosed autism, and a pile of toxic relationships I didn’t yet have the tools or boundaries to know how to walk away from. My years in Portland healed me in many ways. I returned to the city yesterday in a much healthier place, and with a clearer sense of self.

But even so, going back to a place where you spent 15 years as a less healed, less self-aware version of yourself? That’s going to stir something up. And it did. But being back also gave me a few realizations that I want to share.

So, let’s get into it!