Allow Me to (Re)introduce Myself
The person who left New York is not the person who came back.
Hello friend,
I’ve probably started (and deleted) about fourteen different versions of this week’s newsletter. Every time, I catch myself wanting to frame this experience as either all good or all bad. Something like, “Wow! It’s amazing here. This was totally the right choice. I love New York!” or “Wow, starting over is brutal and I am very much feeling the pain.”
Maybe it’s because I’m so used to creating for social media, where you’re expected to get to the point and leave no room for nuance.
The truth is much messier. It’s been almost a month since I arrived, and this new chapter has been both incredibly beautiful and incredibly difficult. There’s nothing easy about starting over, even when it feels like something of a soft landing (at least compared to when I moved to Portland three years ago).
I’ve been quiet on social media lately (especially Instagram) because, honestly, the person I used to be feels so different from who I am now. After a couple of years filled with upheaval, grief, and a lot of growth, I sometimes feel scared to... I don’t know. Reintroduce myself?
Maybe you’ve felt that too? The fear of being seen in a new form.
You’ve probably seen those posts going around that say something like, "Social media is fake, here are some real things about me.”
I’ve been thinking about doing something similar. Not just because I feel like I’ve never been “real,” but because the version of me who left New York feels like an entirely different person from the one who’s come back.
So if you’ll let me, I’d love to (re)introduce myself, and share a few truths about the person I am now.
Where I stand with substance addiction.
Where I stand with dating.
And where I am learning to stand again, with... well, faith and magic.