A Big Life Update
(I actually still can't believe this is real)
Hello friend,
2025 was, quite frankly, a shitstorm of a year for me.
One breakup. One cross-country move. One new puppy. Endo flaring back up. And a lot, truly a lot, of days feeling depressed and unsure about what came next.
Even so, I made a conscious effort not to tell myself (or the internet) a story where I was unlucky, doomed, or stuck. I’ve learned there is real power in how you narrate your own life.
If you have been around here long enough, you probably remember a version of me who positioned herself as a perpetual victim of…just about everything. I am not proud of that version of myself, but I am owning it.
All of that is to say, what was objectively a very hard year ended up bringing some unexpectedly beautiful things with it. One of the biggest was my move upstate.
Coming to upstate New York was the shift I did not realize how badly I needed. I love having four real seasons in all their intensity. And wow has winter been intense this year. It is currently snowy and freezing, and I am full on embracing the coziness of it.
I love the farm and the food culture here. I love the sense of community I feel. I do not know if it is because so many people I knew during my NYC years are nearby now, but the social element feels good in a way I’ve been missing for a while.
There are also great shops, great restaurants, antiques everywhere, and so much beautiful nature it almost feels unfair.
Which brings me to the part that still feels strange to type.
I feel weird even writing this, because I wanted it for a long time and also genuinely stopped assuming it was something that would automatically be in the cards for me. My life and career have never been especially linear, and for a long time this felt like a “maybe someday, but not anytime soon” kind of thing.
But through a combination of stubbornness, lots of stress, some help, and honestly a decent amount of luck, I did something very adult and very scary and…
I bought a fucking house.
It still does not fully register. It mostly feels surreal and a little fake, like I’m waiting for someone to tell me there’s been a mistake.
And to be very clear, this is not some kind of “I’ve arrived” moment. The house needs a lot of work. I am currently surrounded by boxes, lists, samples, and the growing realization that owning a home is just trading one set of problems for a much more expensive and permanent set of problems.
What it does feel like is…stability. A base! A place where I can actually exhale and start rebuilding parts of my life that have been on pause for a long time.
And that feels fucking priceless.
And one last thing, whether you’re new around here or you’ve been here for a long time and seen me through a lot of the shitstorm, I just want to say thank you. Your support, whether that’s reading, sharing, or paying for this newsletter, is something I don’t take for granted.
Love always,
VC
Congrats! I can't wait to see updates of what you do with it (I need to wallpaper vicariously)
Good luck! I remember that feeling distinctly. Almost 30 years ago, I was in a position where I HAD to either buy something or condemn myself to a lifetime of privately renting, as I would never again have been able to afford both saving for a deposit and paying private rental. Luckily, I just had enough money to get on the property ladder. The housing market in the UK is very different to that in the US, and there is much more security of tenure here. But having come close to being homeless, I resolved not to be in that position again. Owning a house is a never-ending succession of unexpected bills, but at least it's spending on something that's YOURS, and you don't have to wait until the landlord gets round to unbunging the drains or whatever. I hope your new home is all you wish for. As you say, that feeling of stability is priceless and, actually, you can't beat it!