8 Books That Gave Me Psychological Breakthroughs

Also: does anyone have suggestions for a term less cringy than "healing journey"?

In the last few years, I’ve learned how messy the path to healing can truly be, and for the first time since I started, it’s beginning to feel like I’m *actually* turning a corner. While no two people’s paths to healing ever looks the same, here are 8 self help and psychology books that changed my brain chemistry and got me to the other side:

1. Attached

   It’s really hard to know you are toxic when you are toxic, and it took a long time for me to take accountability for the ways I was shitty in my relationships. One of the reasons I felt so ashamed of myself was because I thought I was an anamoly: all of my friends seems to effortlessly find loving partners while all of my relationships seemed to end in explosive drama.

   
   I was embarrased of my own behavior but like, also somehow in denial of it? I felt so alone in my pain. Reading this book allowed me to name my problem (“anxious attachment”) and begin to understand the realistic steps I can take towards healing it.

   
   And you know what? It appears to have actually worked. Fuck I love this book.

2. Unmasking Autism

   Prior to reading this book, my attitude about Autism was I’m not sure if I have it, but maybe? After reading it, my attitude was HOLY SHIT I AM ABSOLUTELY AUTISTIC AND NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

   The number of breakthroughs and crying moments I had while reading this was overwhelming. This was the book I recommended to BFD that made him have his own breakthrough right before our first date.

3. Emotional Intimacy

   When I first started *really* healing, I wanted to have a more intimate relationship with my own emotions. In other words: I wanted to be able to accurately identify my feelings and gain a deeper understanding of what they mean. This book helped with that a lot.

4. Toxic Parents

   If you repeatedly behave in self destructive ways in all of your relationships, you probably have childhood trauma! I, personally, have a fucking boatload and spent many years of my life in denial of this fact. This was the book that ripped open my wound and exposed me to the pain of my truth.

5. Emotional Blackmail

   After I read ‘Toxic Parents’, I became a major Dr. Susan Forward fangirl and read everything of hers I could get my hands on. Some, like Money Demons fell flat, but this one was revelatory and really opened my eyes to many of the ways I’ve let so many people through out my life mistreat me.

6. The Body Keeps the Score

   This one is heavy but powerful. Once I realized how much childhood trauma I have, this was the book that helped me understand all of the ways it lived in my body and caused both physical and mental health issues.

7. The Dance of Intimacy

   When I read this, I was knee-deep in a relationship that lacked the level of emotional intimacy I now know I require. This book helped me understand that.

8. All About Love

   Along with relearning my approach to intimacy, I wanted to redefine what love meant to me as well. In the past, I let people use the word “love” to justify keeping me on a painful codependent leash. This was the book that made me go, “holy shit. That was not love.”

   Also, this is one of the most beautifully written books I’ve ever read. bell hooks 4 ever.

Do any of these look interesting to you, or are there a few you’ve read already?

Also - did you enjoy this list of recs? Anything you’d want me to cover next?